Somewhere In My Memories
by littlebuster
Summary: AU, Just a story following Wendy through out her life, mostly involving her relationship with Stan **stanXwendy cartmanXwendy bebeXclyde bebeXkenny** Rated M for drugs & alcohol, sex, language, violence (In the original story I wrote they were too young - the age they are in the show - and I was getting a lot of complaints, so I modified it so they were older)
1. Fresh Faces

Over the years of elementary Wendy had developed a crush on a little boy named Stan marsh. She had been in his classes year after year, watching him play foot ball at recess and raise his hand in class. Her heart would flutter if he even said her name, asking a question about homework or what not. The first time she had saw him was in kindergarten, she hadn't developed a crush until third grade, but even then, in the very beginning, she wanted to be his friend. He seemed very attached to a group of three other boys, finding Kyle the closest. Wendy had learned that Stan had developed a crush on her the same time hers began for him through a friend, but she couldn't be sure. He seemed to only get nauseous around her, and to Wendy, that wasn't really a sign of affection. As the years flew by and they grew, her attraction for him never changed.

Finishing fifth grade had been a hell of the light at the end of the tunnel. It was hard for Wendy to say, but had she actually accomplished anything different in her life? Today was a definite reason to celebrate the endeavor of fifth grade. She was to have almost all her class over for a pool party just before summer broke. Wendy looked sweet in her little one-piece, splashing in the pool with her friends. Stan Marsh had _really_ taken a liking to her over the semester and couldn't keep his eyes off her as his friend, Eric beat him with a pool noodle.

"Cartman stop!" He growled, snapping back from his head trip.

"Jesus fucking Christ! Then hit back!" Cartman shot back with a scowl.

Wendy shot a glance over her shoulder to see, out of all the ambience, what the yelling was about. _Cartman. _She almost hadn't invited him, practically forecasting that he would be a problem. She watched them climb out of the pool and join the other boys in the grass yard, playing with super soakers and Frisbees.

Shortly after, Wendy heard a thump and a small amount of gasps. Her peers across from her in the water, looked past to see what was wrong. Wendy turned her face to the target of attention as well, to see Stan in the grass whimpering. Out of everyone in the crowd, it was Wendy who felt the most sympathetic for him, just seeing him on the ground, hurt, was enough to make her heart flip. She climbed out of the pool and rushed over to him ignoring the amount of eyes her way. She kneeled down so that she was face level to him, taking a breath in favor of his presence. The Frisbee had impacted his face, leaving a long gash on his cheek. Wendy could see that he was struggling not to cry, his lower lip quivering and eyes beginning to water. She glanced around quickly for an adult assistance but realized that her parents had gone to visit one of their friends in the hospital for the day, trusting little Wendy, and of course the baby sitter to look after everything while they were out. The baby sitter had fell asleep on the couch as soon as her parents had left, presenting perfect baby-sitter behavior.

Stan was about to cry, and judging by the amount of kids here, there would surely be teasing going on if he shed a single tear in front of them. Wendy offered a comforting smile to ease him.

"Not here, you do," She said referencing to the crying and took his hand helping him inside.

She brought him up stairs to her parent's bathroom, where she could get a Band-aid over the raw, freshly torn skin. After sitting him down on the counter, she snatched a clean towel from the cupboard and held it under the faucet until it was sufficiently damp with warm water. As she returned, she stood in front of him and reached up to take his face in her hands, hesitating briefly before letting her hands touch his skin. She could feel him tense up and heard his sudden but soft intake of breath. She was relieved to know that he was just as nervous as she was. She held his little jaw in her left hand as her right hand gently wiped away the small trail of blood that had escaped the cut along his cheek. Somewhere inside she knew wasn't just holding his face so that she could brace his head from moving as she wiped the blood away...she was doing it in hopes that it would disguise the shaking of her hands. Well that and the fact that she couldn't keep her hands away. She had been longing to touch him for so long and as soon as her fingers had met his skin she found her knees weakening.

Wendy pulled open the drawer next to her and revealed a little tube of Neosporin. Squeezing a dab onto her finger, she was more than thrilled when her skin met his cheek again, gently gliding a thin coat of pain relief over his injury. He let a tiny whimper escape his mouth, causing Wendy's eyes to immediately find his. They held a gaze for a few breaths before she smiled slightly at him. If only he knew how fast her heart was beating. While distributing more Neosporin over his gash, she could feel his eyes still on her. As she finished, her trembling hands continued to hold his face for just a few heart beats longer, emphasizing the amount of feelings she had in her heart right now. Her stomach dropped into a swarm of butterflies and tight knots. Heart in her throat, she met his eyes with hers before letting go of his face. At the time, Wendy couldn't understand the feelings she was experiencing and ignored them as best as she could, coping with the twisting emotion, but she seized the box of Band-Aids with shaking fingers, and picked one out to secure to his cut. After placing it on, Stan ran a finger across the gauze-like fabric and gave her a tiny smile.

"Thank you," he managed to say.

Wendy couldn't find words so she nodded quickly, hoping it would be enough to acknowledge his gratitude.

The two went downstairs together, back to the guests outside. Wendy wouldn't forget this moment, she promised.


	2. Eerste Zoen

Awh jeez... this one is kinda cute ^.^ but I feel sad also. You'll see why. **Title is Dutch for - first kiss**

* * *

Being in sixth was not as rewarding as Wendy had suspected it to be. She also had suggested, since the kids were a bit older, they may be a bit more mature. This wasn't the case. In fact, the kids were less mature than ever. It was hard to say, but Wendy almost wished she was still in fifth grade. Now boys were the _only _thing on every little girl's mind. This was a big issue for Wendy, because she knew that her grades and studies were far more important than a silly crush. She struggled to focus on her work but slowly her grades went downhill in result of her getting B's rather than A's.

Tonight was a break from her values. Kyle had invited everyone over to play in his newly built tree fort. Being Bebe's 'boyfriend,' it was only right for him to invite Wendy over as well.

Now sitting in the dimly lit tree fort with only a lantern, Wendy watched the sun sink into an orange puddle at the gloom of the horizon. She felt the icy breeze against her face cueing that winter was afoot. She turned her face away from the window, and back to her peers, who had formed a circle around the lantern.

"Who's turn is it?" Kenny asks, his orange _jacket_ stripped from him this time. Wendy admired his cute face, acknowledging the rare season he wouldn't wear it, but with winter approaching she can kiss his features goodbye to be hidden under pounds of snow wear.

"Mine!" Butters calls from next to Bebe. "It's my turn!"

All heads turn to Butters.

"Okay... Wendy," he begins.

Wendy swallowed a lump in her throat. She hated being the target of this game. If she said truth, which no one ever said, she would be deemed a pussy. If she said dare, it would most likely be some sort of embarrassing action she had to perform.

"Truth or dare?"

She looked around the clubhouse quickly, eyes scanned over Butters, Bebe, Kenny, Clyde, Stan, then Kyle.

"Dare," She said bravely, eyes glued on Stan.

"Kiss Stan."

Wendy's face snapped to Butters and her mouth dropped as well as her stomach. The lump in her throat immediately came back. She peeked over at Stan who was just as surprised as she was. _Do I dare to argue? _She scooted across the club house so she was face to face with Stan.

Bebe let out an excited squeal, reminding Wendy that she was here to have fun and play games with her friends. Not be nervous. She looks at him with a tiny smile before engaging. It was just Stan. Just Stan. The same little boy whom she had known for so long, she was going to give a small kiss. No big deal right?

Wendy breathed easy for a moment, but only one breath. For the next was caught in her throat. Swiftly he moved his head, pressing his lips against hers. The pounding of her heart throbbed at the pulse point. It was an undeniable triumph, irrefutable evidence of her response to him. He let his mouth rest there for a sinful moment, feeling her softness as he breathed her in. Not one to ever deny temptation, he parted his mouth a little, allowing the very tip of his tongue to taste her. When he finally pulled away, Stan's smile was nothing but perfect nervousness. It was _he _who had kissed _her. _Wendy could feel nothing but complete bliss. Wonderful bliss. Her insides were raving with victory as her smile grew big, anything but nervous.

Later that same night Wendy felt an irresistible attraction towards Stan. Her emotional intimacy had turned into physical intimacy. Sitting next to him, her hand and his met on the floor. Wendy wasn't nearly as nervous as Stan was, her fingers curled over his, head against his shoulder.

Stan had dared Kenny to eat a bug, in which he did, but as soon as Kenny was crowned 'it,' the game took more of a sexual turn.

"Bebe, truth or dare?" He asks.

Without an ounce of thought Bebe immediately blurts, "Dare!" She had always been the fallen angel of Wendy's wide variety of friends, picking wrong, every time, even if right was the easier option.

"Make out with Clyde," Kenny smirked.

He knew she'd do it. _Making out _was on a completely different level than what Wendy was used to. Most of the kids in their class had only held hands and kissed once or twice, on the lips if they were brave. The only people in their class who's ever made out was Kenny and Bebe, together actually. It surprised little to no one that it was them, out of the crowd, to be the first to make out. But Bebe was a total knockout and Kenny was a total...well pervert, so it was bound to happen any day. The bigger surprise was that making out was all they did, but there were some rumors that Bebe had touched his funny business during a pepper ally at school.

Kyle's expression struck stone cold, trying to decided if he hated Kenny or Clyde more. Bebe smirks at Kyle, and takes Clyde's face in her hands, without any hesitation, and her lips crash into his, parting wide for her tongue. Clyde, being a total baby, only sat and let her do all the work.

Wendy's focus was less on Bebe's tongue party, and more for Kyle's feelings. Her heart sank for him. Poor Kyle.

Kyle held a wounded gaze on his gorgeous girlfriend working her tongue throughout Clyde's mouth. He looked away, eyes watering, lip quivering, almost identical to Stan's about-to-cry face.

As Bebe and Clyde's faces parted, she wiped her mouth and winked at Kenny. "How was that?"

Kenny's smug survey was easy to read. He knew her potential would spread wide. Spread _very _wide. He looked like he wanted a piece of the prized blonde as well and shifting his weight, slightly uncomfortably, yet still his gaze purred.

"What the fuck, Kenny?" Kyle says, angry and hurt.

"What?" Kenny asks as if he was God's gift. "I didn't do anything."

"Yeah, he's just playing, Kyle. Don't yell at him!" Bebe defends her 'angel' immediately, her stone glare shot daggers.

"But... Bebe," Kyle was at loss for words. He _could not believe _that Bebe was defending Kenny. She had mutinied their relationship for a potential one night stand with Kenny.

"I can't do this anymore, Kyle," Bebe says sounding a lot older than she actually was. She then scoffs, "Me and you... we're done."

"What?" Kyle's weak response was heart wrenching to hear. Wendy couldn't bare to listen to his petty whimpers. "But we-"

"We what? I just don't wanna be tied down any more."

Kyle looks to Stan, a plea for help from his best friend, but Stan could do nothing but feel pity for Kyle..

Out of everyone, it _would _be Bebe to let him down as harsh, like dropping a glass on cement, yet Kyle stood strong, or at least tried, and didn't cry. He climbed out of the tree fort, without another word and went inside. Stan, naturally tried to go after him but Bebe let her hand fall to his shoulder.

"Give him a few moments to think," she practically put a spell on Stan causing him immediately to snap back to his original position among his peers.

"Thanks for that, babe," Kenny says beginning to crawl over to the entrance of the tree house. "You know, defending me and shit."

"Yeah, no problem," Bebe mumbles but turns her attention completely over to Clyde. "So about me and you..." She giggles twirling a lock of golden hair around her finger.

"Bye, guys," Kenny descends down the wooden ladder with a brisk wave.

Wendy was taken aback, her mouth hung open. She couldn't believe that her best friend, whom she thought was a nice girl at some point along the road, would do something this cruel.

Later that night, she caught a moment alone with Stan. Everyone else had already left, so the two waited out front for their parents to pick them up. Wendy felt her stomach tighten as soon as he shut the front door and came up to stand next to her. She turned her faced to his and offered a small smile.

"Tonight was fun," She spoke first, tearing the silence.

Stan nodded, but his eyes fell to the ground after stuffing his mitten covered hands in his pockets. She knew he was scared and nervous, but for some reason, she thought it was the cutest thing in the world. She felt a little brave and a lot charmed for just a moment so she let her face tilt to his and pressed her lips against his cheek. He jumped a little at the touch, but quickly recovered, closing his eyes to absorb the moment. His skin was ice cold, from the nighttime fall air. It had to be in the low thirties, maybe even dipping slightly into the twenties by midnight, and yet Wendy felt so warm inside. She let her lips rest on his cheek for just a moment before pulling away.

Wendy could feel her insides melting with desire. Her smile almost glued to her face she bravely asks, "Stan... do you wanna be my boyfriend?" She had asked! This had been her dream for the longest time. Her birthday wish every time. Year after year he was invited. As they grew over time, just before blowing out the candles in her cake, she would gaze through the flames at him, across the cake, her wish had never changed.

She waited in baited breath for Stan's life changing response. She scanned his face trying to pick up what kind of emotion he was feeling. His mouth was slightly open, teasingly, but not on purpose. He a sharp intake of breath as the question unveiled and he stuttered slightly, yet answered. "S-sure."


	3. My Chérie Amour

**Title is French for - My Dear Love (_im pretty sure) _and was named after that stevie wonder song lol**

Sorry if this one took a while, I had to use some thinking time. -.-

* * *

Wendy and Stan had been dating for a year now making their relationship feel less like a new, fun, and a little scary kind of thing and more like a part of every day life. Stan was much more sensitive than the other boys, Wendy had noticed. Things seemed to bother him more than they bothered others, so she new it had something to do with that when he approached her at recess and asked nervously if she was going to Bebe's birthday party.

"Well aren't you?" Wendy replies.

"I don't know if it's my kinda thing..." He looks down. "I might just hang out with Kyle."

These two had been close as long as _anyone _could remember and usually when something came up Stan used Kyle as an excuse to hold him back from doing it. He would always rather stay home and watch TV with Kyle rather than going to a huge sporting event or going to a party. He was in football though, only because it was Kyles idea, so the boys joined together at the start of third grade. He had actually become really good at it over the years. Other than football Stan played hockey and a little bit of baseball. Wendy had always admired his love for athletics, making her feel like one of those stereotypical princesses, who always went out with the jocks. A part of her knew that being stereotyped was ignorant, but another part of her made her feel like the prettiest girl in the world, being under the arm of a good looking jock.

"Come on, Stan," Wendy pleaded grabbed his mitten covered hands with hers. "Just go with me."

He sighs. "Fine."

"Yay! Thank you! Thank you!" She brushes her lips to his cheek. "It'll be fun, I promise."

When they were younger just the sight of Wendy would make Stan queasy, let alone her kissing him. But over the years he had... well she couldn't say matured, but he definitely grew more immune to her affection.

"I guess," he shrugged just as the bell rang.

* * *

Wendy watched Bebe slip a pink dress over her head. Wendy helped her zip it up, and the two gazed in the mirror. Wendy felt so petite and under developed next to Bebe. She was the shortest and the flattest girl in her class. One of the girls had commented on how Wendy hadn't changed since second grade but Bebe immediately defended her best friend, making Wendy feel bad for envying Bebe. She was just so perfect! She was already wearing real bras and she had a beautiful figure even though they were only in seventh grade. Bebe also had a head of perfect golden hair and a set of sparkling blue eyes only driving Wendy's jealously further. Bebe had dated Kyle and had changed her relationship status with Clyde at least four dozen time in the past month, switching to Kenny every few break ups. She was on and off like traffic lights.

"I feel kinda fat," Bebe says, smoothing out the fabric.

"You look gorgeous," Wendy assures her. "I wish I could look that good in something like that."

"I wish I wasn't turning thirteen," Bebe ignores Wendy's complement. Since they had been friends for so long they didn't have to say thank you as much as they used to. "You're so lucky you're still twelve for another year." Bebe pulls at her dress straps, more focused on what she was doing than what she was talking about.

"Lucky?" Wendy scoffs. "You think I'm lucky?"

"Yeah! You get to be cute and little while the rest of us get older," Bebe turns her face to meet Wendy's.

"Getting older is a good thing. I look like I'm eight years old." Wendy says insecurely and crosses her arms.

Bebe doesn't deny it. She doesn't say anything to make Wendy boost her confidence like she normally does. Instead she laughed, almost like it was a _joke._

"Bebe! Your friends are here!" Mrs. Stevens calls from downstairs.

Bebe bounces up and down squealing like an excited four year old. "How does my makeup look?" She says, flipping a lock of flat ironed golden hair behind her shoulder.

"Good," Wendy barley glances at it to know she looks gorgeous.

Bebe flat irons her hair a lot now, and wears makeup more. Not daily but a lot more than she used to. Wendy didn't go anywhere near makeup. It's not that she wanted to keep her innocence, it's that she never thought she needed makeup. She had always thought that makeup was for ugly people trying to be pretty or just old people trying to be young. Bebe wasn't old or ugly, so Wendy couldn't imagine why she would cake on mascara and eye shadow. At least it was only eye makeup.

Wendy followed her bimbo friend downstairs to meet her first arriving guests. It was Token, Clyde, Craig, and Tweak. Bebe hugged Clyde and kissed his cheek, signally to Wendy that they were in fact dating right now. Bebe grabbed a few trays and bowls of snacks while Wendy dragged the heavy cooler of soda.

"This is going to be so much fun!" Bebe promised with an excited squeal. It was just starting to get dark so Bebe turned on the back porch lights and went outside to light the fire pit that was in the denser part of her backyard, where tall leafless oaks bowed with the wind. Year after year Bebe would always have bonfires, which was admired by most kids and were usually really fun, so not a single kid would miss it.

Bebe headed back inside after lighting the fire to turn on some music and chat with her guests. Not too much later Kyle, Cartman, Stan, and Kenny showed up.

"You came!" Wendy said to Stan as he arrived.

"I told you I would," Stan replies. Despite the fact they were at a party, Stan wore his everyday winter wear just like normal. Wendy on the other hand, had on a cute outfit, which consisted of a jean skirt and Stan's old ice hockey sweatshirt. It was too cold to go without it, judging by the current month was late November.

Stan looks down and notices the sweatshirt flashing her a smile. He leans forward so his chin barley brushes her shoulder, mouth near her ear, "Grey looks good on you," referencing to the hoodie. A shiver ran down Wendy's spine, she could feel her breath catch in her throat.

"T-Thank you..." she struggled to say in a trembling voice, as he pulled away. _GOd why was he so good at that_? Why did he always excel in making her nervous but fall head over heals for him at the same time?

"Stan! Over here!" Bebe's voice calls out of the ambience, triggering Stan to look past Wendy.

"I'll be right back," He promised, his blue eyes meeting Wendy's, and steps away to find Bebe.

Wendy nods quickly, and retreats _herself_, in need of someone else to talk to. Just as she turned around she bumped into Cartman, hardly spilling his drink.

"Watch it, bitch!" he gets pissed quickly.

"Sorry, Eric," Wendy isn't sincere, in fact she returns the glare. "Maybe if you weren't so fat, people could actually walk a little before bumping into you."

"I'm not fat!" Cartman screams a little too loud, causing his drink to spill and a few heads to turn. "Fuck you, Wendy! Fuck you, bitch!"

Wendy smirks at him after flipping him off, and makes her way through the familiar faces to find Bebe. When she approaches Bebe she notices that Stan is pleading her for something she clearly missed.

"He really likes you, Bebe. If you just have proper closure, or simply become his friend it would make it all up to him," Stan says. Wendy listens intently, trying to piece together what exactly was going on. Bebe's face is uncomfortable, she has her arms wrapped around herself.

"Wendy!" Bebe spots her nearby. "Oh good, come save me!"

Wendy is still confused but laughs a little greeting her best friend. "What's wrong?"

"Kyle still really likes Bebe," Stan summarizes briskly.

Bebe looks extremely uncomfortable, her crossed arms, only growing tighter. "But I don't like him," she whimpers. She looked really shy and kind of scared for some reason, the expression was a kick in the stomach for Wendy. She wraps an arm around her best friend's waist.

"It's okay, Bebe. I could talk to him for you," Wendy promises.

"Someone get Clyde," she begs.

Stan follows the order and subtracts himself from the scene in search of Clyde.

"Why is this bothering you so much?" Wendy asked. She knew that being young and dependent could resort to such shy ways from Bebe.

"Put yourself in my shoes for a second," Bebe stutters slightly. "This boy has a giant crush on me and is like totally in love with me, crying to all his friends, and being depressed, and putting all this pressure on me, and making it feel like it's my fault, and I don't like him back -"

"Calm down!" Wendy soothes. "It's okay, Bebe. It's just Kyle. Now what do you want me to tell him?"

"Tell him that if he doesn't fuck off, my Clyde will beat the shit out of him," Bebe orders.

"What!?" Wendy is taken aback. "You already tore his heart in half, now you wanna burn it?"

Bebe stares at her for a short while before shaking her head violently. "I didn't break his heart!" She screams. "I didn't mean to! I just don't...don't," then she began to sob into Wendy's shoulder.

Stan returns empty handed.

"Where's Clyde?" Wendy asks, narrowing her eyes as she comforted her crying friend.

Stan leans against the table uncomfortably. "Ummm,"

"Stan," Wendy demands a little dryer. Stan looks worried, distressed, and on top of it all scared. Wendy immediately realizes something isn't right, and he points upstairs, meeting Wendy's worst fears.

"Excuse me, Bebe," Wendy leaves her best friend to angrily storm towards the stairs. _He better not be. He better not be. _She keeps thinking over and over.

Wendy greets Bebe's room, slamming open the door, all of her worst fears meeting expectation. Clyde was on the bed, kissing Red like he used to kiss Bebe.

"Clyde!" Wendy wails, mortified.

Red lets out a soft squeak and dashes out of the room.

"You mother fucker," Wendy says in a deadly tone, closing in on Clyde.

"I wasn't going to do anything!" He immediately defends.

Wendy could feel all the rage flood to her fists and with one sharp gesture she punches him in the cheek.

"Awhh! Fuck!" He doubles over on the bed.

"I don't fucking care if you were going to do anything or not! One way or another you kissed that stupid whore! You cheated on Bebe! Does she mean anything to you?" Wendy has no sympathy. Her stone cold glare shot daggers.

"Bebe! Of course!" Wendy wanted to punch him again, hell she wanted to punch Bebe for having such terrible taste in boys.

"Fuck you," Wendy growls.

"Don't tell her, please! I don't want her to hate me again, I can't be without her for months again," Clyde begs. "You don't understand what actually happened!"

"And this is how you show her you'll be a better boyfriend!?" She throws her hands up in rage. "Well lucky for you jackass, I'm not going to tell her. It'll only hurt her worse, she's in terrible condition downstairs, _begging _for you!"

"She's begging for me?" Clyde's eyes flash with lust.

"You fucking animal!" Wendy screams. She can't help but shake his shoulders, clenching her fingers tight around him.

Clyde falls back on the bed again.

"I won't tell her now, judging by her current state, but if _you _don't tell her within this and next week, I'm just going to have to tell her myself," with that Wendy left the bedroom, leaving Clyde dumbfounded on the bed to think about his mistake.

Wendy comes downstairs to see Stan trying to calm Bebe down over Kyle. He's hugging her, but he looked uncomfortable. If Bebe was this worked up over accidentally breaking Kyle's heart, then she can't possibly imagine how she would react when she finds out that Clyde cheated on her _again. _

"I didn't mean to break his heart," Wendy heard Bebe sob into Stan's little chest when she got in earshot. Stan was one of the smaller boys in the class, always in front for class pictures. He looked a little small compared to Bebe, who was at least three inches taller than him. "I didn't mean to!" She cried again, clenching his jacket.

"Bebe," Wendy says. Bebe looks up, wiping her eyes to meet Wendy's.

"Did you find him?" She begs.

"Yeah, he's upstairs," Wendy informs dryly. Bebe made a dash for the stairs leaving Stan and Wendy together. A few moments of silence passed between them before Stan spoke first.

"Wow."

* * *

Everyone was now settled around the crisp fire, crackling among the light conversation between the childhood friends.

Wendy, positioned rather close to Stan on her camper chair, watched helplessly as her best friend kissed and flirted with fucking Clyde. Just the sight aggravated her so much, she wanted to just tell Bebe what a fucking loser he was and explain that he was locking lips with Red, not even twenty minutes ago.

Stan let out a gloomy sigh, he knew as well, and it was almost as if he could read Wendy's thoughts. He traced where her angry vision was focused and bit his lip.

"I know..." He read her mind.

Wendy turned her gaze to Stan softening it. "I feel so sad and mad for her at the same time."

"It's not her fault she's dumb enough to take him back. He's just got a way with her," Stan objected. Wendy looked down at her feet in the frosted grass. Wendy couldn't bare the thought of her friend's heart breaking though. Maybe she just needed to move on and stay moved on from Clyde. He was no good for her.

"God dammit, you fat fuck! Stop doing that!" Kyle's voice ripped through her thoughts bringing her back to the frozen nighttime air.

They had been roasting marshmallows, and for the third time, Cartman whacked Kyle's stick with his own, making Kyle's marshmallow melt into the flames.

Cartman let out a laugh and recovered quickly, smiling at Kyle. "Go ahead Kahl. Put another marshmallow on your stick." His challenging voice was dripping in sarcasm.

"Fuck this." Kyle threw his stick into the grass and crossed his arms with an angry huff of air. Stan let out a soft laugh.

"Come on, Kyle, you're letting him get to you," Stan interviened.

Wendy gazed across the flames at Cartman. He _always _ruined _everything._ Every time her and the rest of them were having a good time, Cartman was there to dampen the mood. Wendy wanted to get up and knock him out of his seat, but it would have probably been a lot more difficult than she would think.

"Letting him get to me?" Kyle echoed Stan's words. "I'm not doing anything! He's fucking bothering me!"

"Shhh Kahl, don't throw another bitch fit," Cartman says with a smug grin.

"I'm not throwing a _bitch fit_!" Kyle stamps his foot.

"Looks like that to me," Cartman teases. "Kahl you're such a little bitch, all whiny and shit."

These two were really starting to get on Wendy's nerves. Just the sound of Cartman's bickering voice was like nails down a chalk board. Wendy could feel her blood boiling, anger just about to spill over.

"You're the little bitch!" Kyle shoots it back immediately, then imitates him in his best cartman voice, "Maaam get me some more cheesy poofs!"

Clyde starts laughing uncontrollably, making Bebe playfully swat his head. Clyde's laughter is instantly drowned by Cartman's yelling.

"Fuck you, Kahl! Fuck you, you stupid jew!"

"Cut it out both of you!" Wendy finally objects. Both heads turn to Wendy.

"He fucking started it," Kyle crosses his arms. "Every time we're all having a good time, we can always count on this fatass to fuck it all up."

"Ay!" Cartman yaps.

Wendy rolls her eyes. "I know. Cartman, just please let it go."

"Why should I listen to you, ho?"

Stan jumps up, immediately bristling, ready to beat the shit out of him. "Don't you fucking call my girlfriend a ho, fatass!" Stan barks.

Cartman smiles bitterly. "Or what?"

"Or I'll kick your teeth down your throat," Stan threatens crisply. Wendy bites her lip. She is flattered that Stan would 'kick someone's teeth in' for her, but she can't let him attack Cartman because that would obviously kill the mood, and as in mood, whatever Cartman didn't already annihilate. Wendy had to control Stan almost forcing Wendy to grab his arm and yank him back down to his seat

"Behave yourself," She growls in his ear.

"Well tonight certainly has been relaxing," Bebe smiles sarcastically.

"Hey remember when we all were in Kyle's treefort last year?" Kenny asks, making eyes look his way.

"Yeah! Those sure were good times!" Butters exclaims innocently.

"Butters, you are such a faggot," Cartman says emotionlessly.

"We should do that again," Kenny suggests. "Like maybe tomorrow?"

"Dude, yes," Stan smiles, beginning to recap on all the memories that took place there.

"I'll bring drinks," Clyde offered.

Just across the fire, Wendy notices Bebe's uncomfortable expression and realized that she didn't want to go to Kyle's house. Her green eyes flicker to Kyle for half a second, making her breath freeze in her chest. Kyle catches her eyes on him as well, and he sits still for a moment before looking down sorrowfully. Wendy felt like she was just kicked in the stomach. These were her friends, and they were all suppose to be friends with each other, like an exclusive circle of childhood buddies and tangled relationships, but in the end, they were all suppose to be friends. She hated that a lot of them had mixed feelings for each other. The worst part was, she had mixed feelings. She hated that she wasn't super close with all of her old friends, but it was harder than anyone would ever think to maintain a good relationship with each and every one of her associates.

Turning her cheek, her gaze met Clydes. She froze. He was smirking. That damn face. He let his hand rise slightly from his lap, and gave her a sarcastically sweet, small wave. Wendy felt steam rise to her head, her cheeks flushed with anger and she flipped him off briskly so no one else could see. Things had been so awkward between the two since the fit of rage in the bedroom encounter earlier.

Wendy turned her face away from Clyde's bittersweet wrath, to look at Stan. He was staring into the crackling fire, the light reflecting in his giant sapphire eyes, exposing a shimmery glaze across them. He watched the fire as if he was watching TV, so interested in the dancing flames. Wendy found his hands without looking away from him, her skin met his. As soon as their hands greeted, Stan turned his head, his beautiful eyes looking right at her. His touch was so tender, soft, and inviting. His thumb rubbed the back of her hand, and she let her eyes drop to view their intertwined hands. As soon as her eyes focused on the target, her stomach did a flip, dropping into a knot of butterflies. The good kind of butterflies. She felt her cheeks go pink and she bit her lip before looking back to him.

Before her eyes could meet hers again, his lips crashed into hers, soft and sweet. Wendy kissed back, but she could feel the growing amount of eyes on her and it made her somewhat shy to kiss Stan. He didn't go as far as letting his tongue explore her mouth, given the setting they were in, and he retracted his body away from hers, just enough so their mouths could no longer touch. For a few shy moments, he rested his forehead against hers.

"You guys are so cute," Bebe sighs, letting her head fall against Clyde's shoulder. "I love it!"

Cartman groans and slumps on his hand thats supported by his knee. "PDA is so lame."

"You're just saying that because you don't have anyone!" Kyle objected. Cartman snorts.

"Pfft, I could have a girlfriend if I want to, fucking jew. Kenny said it's just a lot easier to have one night stands."

"Yeah!" Kenny agrees.

"You're such a fucking liar," Growled Kyle from his seat.

"No I'm not, Kahl! You're a fucking jew!"

"You think it's clever to just have sex with a girl, then kick her out?" Kyle is pissed. "You think it's okay to use someone like that?"

"Look, all I'm saying is that it is so much easier to do that, than get a girlfriend. Look at poor Stan for evidence. He's gotta listen to all that bitch's problems, take her out on dates and pay for them with _his _money, then he's gotta buy her shit, and at the end of the day, maybe, _just maybe, _he'll get laid."

"Fuck you, Eric!" Wendy explodes from her chair. "There's a lot more to a relationship than just sex!"

Now it's Stan's turn to pull Wendy back down from kicking cartman's teeth down his throat.

"Like what?" Cartman's face twists into a sneer.

"Love." As soon as the word left Wendy's lips she felt Stan's hand around hers freeze. Her eyes almost watered at just the sound of how pure the simple word was.

Cartman looks down at his feet, considering the thought.

"Wow..." Kyle breaths.

Stan tugs her down into his lap, wrapping his arms around her waist. Wendy loved being in his warm embrace more than anything else. The rest of the night the friends laughed and talked about countless memories and inside jokes, making this one of the best birthday parties Bebe has ever thrown.


	4. Love means home

"**Sometimes love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter." ―Melissa Marr**

* * *

"Stan where are you taking me?" Wendy squeaked, squeezing his hand tighter. She had promised to keep her eyes shut until Stan told her it was cool to open them. She could feel herself sink in the soft powdery snow that had just fell the night before. His grip was gradually getting more gentle and loose until he finally let go.

"Open," his voice just hardly cracked.

Wendy smiled to herself. _God that was cute. _Opening her eyes slowly she was greeted with the familiar sight of Starks Pond. This was the very same place that her and Stan's first kiss took place four years before. Laying out on the fresh sheet of snow was a pale blue blanket and a small radio. Today was their one year anniversary, and it was beyond perfect. This had been where their first date took place, when they were eight. Wendy was speechless, her mittens covered her mouth and she felt her eyes slightly water. It wasn't until he pressed play and one of her favorite songs came out of the radio. It was Telescope by Cage the Elephant. She couldn't hold back tears. From head to toe her white skin was covered in goose bumps.

"Oh...Stan," was all she could manage to say, before the first tear reached her lip. She made a dash for his arms, flinging all her love against him. She let herself acknowledge his arms around her body, pulling her closer to him, if that was even possible. She wanted this hug to never end, it was definitely one of the most emotional hugs she'd ever had with him. Feeling his breath on her neck, tears streaming down her cheeks, she was so struck by memories, familiarities, the song and just Stan holding her, him being the only person in the world she knew she could ever love. One of his arms released her so that his hand could cup her face, thumb rubbing across her cheek, pushing the tears away.

"I need to tell you something," He says, reassuring her worries with a big goofy Stan grin.

"As long as it won't ruin the mood," She breathed.

"It will make it better," He promised her, and taking her hand he lead her to the blanket. Wendy sank to her knees, wiping away the final tears. She laid onto her back staring up at the vast blue sky. Stan settled next to her, both lying with knees up gazing into the clouds.

"Do you ever wonder if heaven is real?" She says, eyes sparkling in favor of the sky.

"I was raised believing it was real," Stan replies.

"Yes, but do _you _personally believe in it?"

"I dunno," out of the corner of her eye she sees him shrug. "I like to stick with what I've always known. It's best to keep what you've had in your heart ever since you were a child."

Wendy couldn't reply. His words were so beautiful it amazed her on how lucky she was to have him. Then she realized the deeper meaning behind his statement. He was talking about _her. _

"When you're young, you're so pure and innocent that you only can think of all the happiness and believe in all the artificial beauty in the world. It's so pure and innocent to think that heaven is a place within the clouds. I'd like to keep my mind set that way," Stan continues. Wendy loved hearing him talk about his beliefs. He had a beautiful way with words.

"Stan?"

"What?"

"Did you hafta tell me something?"

Stan swallowed. His gaze focused on the clouds above his head. The same clouds he would look up to as a little kid. _It's best to keep what you've had in your heart ever since you were a child. _The words echoed in his mind. He let out a soft breath before answering her.

"I love you."

Wendy could feel her eyes begin to water again. Goose bumps raced across her arms. She already knew that he loved her. They probably loved each other since they were eight or nine, just being afraid to admit it. It was obvious Stan loved her. Only people who were truly in love could share moments as emotional as these, but just hearing the sound of him saying it to her out loud was so surreal and beautiful. It buttered her emotions as she recalled over and over again how it sounded when the words left his mouth.

"I love you more."

Stan considered the thought for a moment before turning on his side, propped up by his elbow so he could face her. He shook his head resting his eyes on the side of her cheek, but kept smiling that damn beautiful smile of his. Wendy turned so she was in his exact position parallel to him. Before she could even settled he pulled her little frame on top of him, gently and carefully, considering they had never been in a position like this with one another. She instantly had a weird sensation, feeling herself on top of him. She felt a huge mix of emotions. Part of her felt like she was safe and warm even though it was freezing outside. Another part of her felt like she was at home. Like the feeling when you get homesick and finally return, having that amazing feeling in result. She could feel that result feeling just by being on him.

His hand reached up, brushing a strand of raven hair behind her ear. His sapphire eyes locked with her soft hazel ones, and before she could breathe another breath his warm, familiar voice purred from underneath her.

"I love you most."


End file.
